Mary has a sleepless night

Mary Magdalen, Thursday July 6

I couldn’t get to sleep so I thought I would get up and find something to occupy my mind for an hour or so.  It’s been almost a month since I last wrote anything, during which time my lovely but crazy husband has taken the plunge as a preacher, an exorcist and a good shepherd gathering his flock together in preparation for the final…shearing?…slaughter?  Not a good image!

He seemed massively relieved to get the mission under way, but I don’t think he had quite foreseen the violence of the reaction he would get from some people, especially his own family.  Poor Tom’s having a hard time too, though I understand Hannah’s reaction.  Maybe I’ll pay her a visit.  I could drop in on the mother in law too.  Because I’m older than Jesus and she was so young when she had him, she’s only a few years older than me and I think of her more as a sister than a mother.  That makes it awkward for her, because she wants to be the boss, not an equal, and my independence doesn’t help either.

I’m glad most of the disciples have gone away again.  They are very considerate and helpful but it’s a strain having a crowd of noisy men around the place.  Thaddeus and Jamie aren’t any trouble and in fact are very good workers, and I’m used to Tom, with his pages of notes and plans and diaries.  I’m pretty sure Jesus wouldn’t be where he is now without Tom to help him.

I haven’t wanted to bother them by telling them what my neighbour Matthias is up to.  He’s made a claim against part of my land now and I’m not sure what I can do about it.  He’s so well connected and powerful, and even against someone like me with an education and some money he can more or less do what he wants.  I feel tired now.  I think that’s what was keeping me awake.