I should never have let Cyrus persuade me to stay to be persuaded by Jesus. First I got the ‘best mates since we were three years old’ routine, complete with his favourite story of the time we swapped clothes and went back to each other’s homes, getting away with the game for hours because we looked so alike back then.
Thomas, Monday July 31
Then I got ‘I never could have got this far without your ideas and your campaign management abilities’ coupled with ‘you and Peter are very different but you complement each other and I need both your skill sets in my team’. Then it was ‘the end of the world is just round the corner and surely you don’t want to throw away the chance of being among the first to be saved’. Then he resorted to hugging me and getting Cyrus to say how much I was needed, and finally he said he fully understood my concerns, and why not take a few days off to see Hannah and the kids, and take some food and wine and borrow a donkey to make it easier.
I didn’t stand a chance. When I finally set off for my short break in Nazareth, I couldn’t have felt more guilty if I’d stolen a bag of gold. I didn’t take a donkey in the end, as I didn’t want to take advantage of Mary. Jesus can sometimes be a bit too generous with his wife’s wealth. Hannah was really offhand when I first turned up, but she mellowed when she saw how pleased the kids were to see me. Then we had a really nice dinner and now I think I might even have a chance of sharing her bed, provided I ‘stop that incessant scribbling for once’. I can take a h…